Apologies in advance... Whenever I'm out of town, invariably, I write a self-loathing blog entry, probably about how I suck with girls. I don't know why this happens, and I'm sorry. If you're sick of my shit, please accept my apology and read no further.
What happens when tension arises between your impulse to do the wrong thing and your higher level functioning that leads to sound, reasoned judgment? For me, impulse loses... Every time... Even when the cutest girl ever and alcohol are involved... And I come off like a fucking doodie hole because of it.
Oh well. I'm off company time now, and have nearly five days in New York to compensate for all the times when I didn't indulge my impulses.
The probability of me somehow ending up dead by Sunday is slim, but it's also as far from impossible as it's ever been. If I do die, please tell my family that I love them. ...Oh, and would someone please remove the porn from between my mattresses before they get to it?
On an unrelated note, if I ever hear Flashing Lights by Kanye West again, it'll be too soon.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
misdirection
Lately, I have this awful habit of laughing out loud at people (and not WITH them).
I had a conversation Lexar customer service, and was immediately able to tell that it had been outsourced to India. We kept asking each other to repeat what we had said, which was a little annoying, but we eventually got the issue resolved. At the end of the call, he said, "Thank you again for calling Lexar. If you have any further questions or concerns, you can reach me at this phone number. And again, my name is Marshall." I guffawed (Mrs. Black said that word would show up on the SAT and it didn't... What a cunt.) heartily and wanted to call him out on his shit and ask what his real name was... Like his BIRTH name, not his slave name that the man gave him.
The other instance was a bit more sleeper, before it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was at the checkout counter at Microcenter. I looked downward at the merchandise as she told me the total price, then handed her my credit card. I continued inspecting what I was buying until she requested to see my drivers license. For those of you who may not have seen my license picture, I'm making a prototypical Sol-face ---> :D ...I looked up at her as she began making some lame joke about it, and that's when I noticed her snaggletooth sticking out like a boner in boxers and LOLed. I think she thought it was because of her lame joke, but I was actually LOLing at her crazy snaggletooth. Maybe she knew. I laughed a little too hard for it to be at a joke of such low caliber.
I had a conversation Lexar customer service, and was immediately able to tell that it had been outsourced to India. We kept asking each other to repeat what we had said, which was a little annoying, but we eventually got the issue resolved. At the end of the call, he said, "Thank you again for calling Lexar. If you have any further questions or concerns, you can reach me at this phone number. And again, my name is Marshall." I guffawed (Mrs. Black said that word would show up on the SAT and it didn't... What a cunt.) heartily and wanted to call him out on his shit and ask what his real name was... Like his BIRTH name, not his slave name that the man gave him.
The other instance was a bit more sleeper, before it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was at the checkout counter at Microcenter. I looked downward at the merchandise as she told me the total price, then handed her my credit card. I continued inspecting what I was buying until she requested to see my drivers license. For those of you who may not have seen my license picture, I'm making a prototypical Sol-face ---> :D ...I looked up at her as she began making some lame joke about it, and that's when I noticed her snaggletooth sticking out like a boner in boxers and LOLed. I think she thought it was because of her lame joke, but I was actually LOLing at her crazy snaggletooth. Maybe she knew. I laughed a little too hard for it to be at a joke of such low caliber.
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