circumstances

Today I learned that Tryna Molina works in Pasadena, and it tickled me pink.

And before you ask, no it is not near the marina and she does not work with her BFF Gina.

specialization

I drove through at McDonald's, and it was one of those times where you pay at the first window and then pick up your food at the second. Not all the McDonald's employees are versatile enough to give you your change AND your food. Luckily, McDonald's managers are usually astute enough to recognize which employees can't and train them to specialize in one or the other.

But anyway, I stopped at the first window, handed over a credit card and got it back. Then I kept the car stopped in front of the window for two to three more seconds as I was putting the credit card back in my wallet. I guess the cashier mistook this delay as confusion on my part, because she said, "You pick up your food at the next window."

What I WANTED to say was, "I'm 27 years old. I know what the protocols for a drive-thru are." To my credit, rather than administering sass, I counted to ten and decided to just play dumb instead... "Oh, I gotta stop at ANOTHER window to get my food? Word? Okay."

What do I do or what is it about me that compels people to treat me like a retard?

distinction

My brothers' recent involvement with David Babaii for WildAid has sparked an unprecedented level of personal awareness for American popular culture in my father, which is my way of saying that he now knows who Kate Hudson is. The only other American actress he knows by name is Brooke Shields. It's evident, however, that his fascination with Kate Hudson is still in its earliest stages because he's still struggling to be able to distinguish her from other pretty white ladies. As we were waiting for breakfast this morning, we started flipping through issues of Cosmopolitan and Allure that were sitting on the table. He stopped on a photo of Drew Barrymore, pointed at it and turned the magazine so that it was facing me.

"Is that Kate Hudson? That's Kate Hudson, right?" my dad asked.

"Nope. That's Drew Barrymore."

He continued flipping until he saw the next photo of a pretty white lady...

"THAT'S Kate Hudson, right?"

"No. Blake Lively."

By the way, I LOVE Gossip Girl. But I digress...

To my delight, the Find-Kate-Hudson-in-the-Women's-Fashion-Magazine game continued for about ten more minutes. Here's a list of celebrities that my dad thought were Kate Hudson:

• Drew Barrymore
• Blake Lively
• Britney Spears
• Scarlett Johansson
• Ashton Kutcher (No, that's not a joke.)
• Kiera Knightley
• Kate Hudson (The blind squirrel found a nut.)
• Rachel McAdams
• Charlize Theron
  

He could probably pick her out of a lineup of black males, but that's about it. This goes to show that all white people can look alike to a Korean guy as much as all Asian people can look alike to a white person.

service

This happened while I was playing Scrabble with Sarah, after I dropped "TI" on her for 11 points.

Sarah: Ti???
Solomon: Ti... A drink with jam and bread.

...Of course that got me thinking about Julie Andrews, which made me pop a raging boner. Don't play dumb. You've popped a boner playing Scrabble before too.