Salmgpven

I've been in Washington for three days on what I guess you could call a "special assignment" for FHI Heat, and when I say "special" I mean a retard could be doing this.

On my first day, I went to the receptionist to let them know who I am and whom I was there to see. She asked me what my name is as she was picking up the phone to page Mr. Gurley and I told her "Solomon Kim."

"Is that spelled S-A-L-M-G-P-V-E-N?" she asked, or something equally egregious. She had butchered it so badly and I figured she was just confirming so that she could tell Mr. Gurley that I was there, and I'm here to do a job (which I'm neglecting to write this post). So rather than standing there for about an hour trying to clean up her fucking mess with this spelling job, I just said, "Yep, that's right." It turned out that she was actually asking so that she could make me a name badge to allow me access to the building. I'm coming in every day this week, and now she's become familiar with me. So today when I reported in today, she was like "Good morning, Solomon! ...What's kind of weird is that she pronounces it perfectly.

So I've been walking around Washington all week with a sticker on my shirt that says "Hi My Name Is SALMGPVEN." I don't have the heart to tell her that she's way off...

...Plus she's pretty cute (for a menopausal woman of about...60) and I think I want to try to hit it.

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